The 5 Keys to Staying Positive in a Negative World
With all the trouble in the world from hurricanes, mass shootings, earthquakes and political infighting staying positive is not just something you causally think about any more. Positive thinking is a survival tool that needs to be sharpened and maintained every day. Along with all the problems in the world we all have our own struggles and shit to deal with as well. The truth is that no matter how happy or together a person looks like on the outside they got issues, trust me no one is exempt. That is why I wanted to share with you my 5 Keys to Staying Positive that have helped me get through a lot crap that has been put on my plate. If you have to eat a crap sandwich you might as well be able to dunk it into a sweet tasting positive dipping sauce. That will help you swallow the world’s nastiness. I start my 5 keys to living a more positive lifestyle with two things you should never do! Two negatives that lead to positives.
Rule number 1 and it is number 1 for a reason: When bad stuff happens to you or in the world you don’t get to ask why. If God wanted you to know why he will tell you so if you don’t know then don’t ask, it is a waste of time and energy. Most of the time your first response is to ask why especially if the tragedy involves a child or a loved one. Instead pause; take a deep breath along with some quiet time to just get your thoughts together. By asking why you are just focusing on the negative event or tragedy and not a solution or a way to move on. It is like being stuck in the mud and spinning your tires instead of looking for help to push you out so you can get on your way. Even if you did know “why” would having that answer make a difference or your problems any smaller? Most likely not so instead of asking “why” ask who can I call to help me or what can I do to start making this better?
Rule number 2: Don’t complain about your life or feel sorry for yourself that just digs the hole you are in even deeper. It also sets your mind and energy going in the wrong directions and cuts off the supply of the well meaning or helpful thoughts. If you have to have a pity party set a time limit [the amount of time depends on the severity of the event] and to then start purging your mind of the entire why me crap and I suck and what did I do to deserve this. A positive mind = positive results. I am not saying to ignore the problem or tragedy and not to morn a loved one passing but to not feel sorry for yourself. Self pity is the slippery slope that you will need to stay away from at all cost, it does no good for you or anyone around you. Some people use self pity as away to get attention even if nothing bad is going on, don’t be that guy.
Rule number 3: One day at a time! There is a reason that each day has only 24 hours and all of us need to reset so we can be ready for the next day. By keeping your mind in a 24 hour box and not worrying about the future you will be able to focus on what each day has to offer. Then you won’t miss out on the little treasures of the day that are in front of you. Start each day with the following mantra “today is going to be a great day filled with great blessings”. You may have to repeat it a few times but after the 3rd or 4th time you will start to feel it deep down in your core. When your mind wonders into the future just simply come back and look around and see what is right in front of you. Then focus on what you are doing now and not what you will be doing tomorrow or the day after that. Learn to practice Mindfulness and incorporate meditation into your daily routine. Both of those practices will help you stay focused in the present and you will be amazed at how productive you will be during the day. It is easy to worry about the future and how am I going to pay my bills next month, will I ever be able to retire but it is hard to stay in the moment.
Rule number 4: Approach life with a lite touch. Don’t take yourself or what other people have to say so seriously. This will help you avoid a lot of drama that will never do you any good. There is always going to be 25% of the people you come in contact with that either don’t like or understand you. Learn to put your problems and certain people “on a self” and don’t be so quick to react or speak. Not everything or everyone has to be dealt with immediately. By putting some things on a self you are giving yourself time to consider all options. My father would say to always put God first and people and problems second and then you will make smarter decisions. I am always surprised that by not reacting quickly to a problem how that leads to far better outcomes. I call this the pause and then act protocol. In today’s instant response world with texts, Twitter, Facebook and cell phones you have to make a big effort to hold off on responding right out of the box. Start this practice with something small like that comment from your wife or husband; just put it on a self and you will be amazed at the results.
Rule number 5 and the most important: Be thankful for everything and I do mean everything, good and bad alike. I like to call problems, issues and tragedies “challenges”. When a challenge presents itself just say under your breath thank you for this challenge and the opportunity to solve this problem or grow stronger as a person. Last week was especially filled with “challenges” for me between an ongoing legal issue with my ex-wife, client payment problems, property taxes and a furnace that is blowing out deadly levels of Co2 just as the first cold snap of the season hits. I was very busy being thankful for a lot of problem solving and growth opportunities in my life. The good news is that by applying all 5 of my rules, the support of my family [shout out to Zeliyha, Patrick and John] and a little help from Mr. Toto’s I got through last week. Now my legal issue is still ongoing but I did find a very good attorney to help me. The problem was I have been representing myself for that last 6 months and that was not working, I am not an attorney just a guy who runs a warehouse. The furnace stopped blowing out Co2 or at least that is what my new detector says and I was able to find enough money together to pay the property taxes.
This blog was inspired by looking back over the last 5 years of my life at where I was in 2012 and where I am in 2017 and how vastly different my life is now. Going through the events of the last few years is how I developed my 5 keys to a Positive Lifestyle. Five years ago my biggest problem was my golf handicap and how long my drives were. In 2012 I had money to burn and if I wanted something I just throw money at it. In 2017 I live paycheck to paycheck and owe a considerable amount of money to the credit card companies. Losing everything in 2015 has made me a better more appreciative person in 2017 and I know that great things are coming my way and that this season of lack is only temporary. If I can stay positive through the last 5 years than you can too no matter what you are facing. Just keep these 5 keys in mind when life gives you a crap sandwich cover that bitch in positive sauce and know that desert is going to be sweet…..